Learning Lessons

Back in the 1970s, John Denver had a hit song called “(It’s Good to Be) Back Home Again”. Well, it’s good to be back in my literary zone again.

School days, school days, dear old golden rule days. However, in my case, the rules were more like brass knuckles than golden.

Throughout my life, I consider myself a learner who enjoys the smell of old chalk in the morning. I still fantasize sitting in classrooms and being taught all sorts of subjects and weird trivia. though mathematics is totally Greek to me (I might understand it better if it used emojis rather than using letters with strange words like gamma, delta, and epsilon) and I am not particularly interested in the sciences except for astronomy with its heavenly bodies and characters like Luke Skywalker and Mr. Spock exploring space.

Unsurprisingly, I have learned many lessons since the first time I eat rotten gingerbread cookies with imitation skim milk in kindergarten. Here are a few:

Don’t worry about the road not taken until your are lost.

Everyone likes reading dirty laundry except your own.

Familiarity breeds contempt but it also breeds content.

Those who can’t do teach and those who can’t teach are in deep doo doo.

Smart people frequently are the dumbest asses.

There is no need for competition if everyone is a winner.

Money isn’t everything but it pays the groceries.

Keep it simple unless you are doing calculus.

Being smart is not the same as being wise.

A fool and his money are soon parted if he does not hit a jackpot at a casino.

If you can’t stand the heat get yourself an air conditioner.

It’s hard being between a rock and a hard place.

If life was easy, it would be a fairy tale.

It’s better to be first than last at a Black Friday sale.

Keep your mouth shut if you are not hungry.

Be in the slow lane when you are being tailgated by a semi-truck.

Happiness is a warm puppy and a semi-warm hot dog at a ballpark.

All that glitters is not gold, especially fool’s gold.

Honesty is the best policy unless you want to succeed in used car salesmanship and politics.

Luck is like bull hockey–it just happens.

You will succeed in the real world if you are a honors graduate from the School of Hard Knocks.

A penny saved is a penny earned especially when you are earning interest in your savings account.

The safest bet is not betting.

Try, try again usually means you won’t succeed.

Every dog has his day and every tomcat has his night.

You will know more about the meaning of life at a graduation party than at a graduation speech.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a man’s worst nightmare.

A little rain must fall if you want vegetables.

You know you are a klutz when your name isn’t called for basketball or tiddlywinks.

If you are in the pits, it’s time for a pit stop.

Everything is deja vu all over again when it comes to history.

Weird fact

The oldest school in the United States is the Boston Latin School, which was founded in 1635. Harvard University in nearby Cambridge, Massachusetts, was founded the next year.